we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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