after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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