is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
