I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
