don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
