@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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