I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
