I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
FUCK WHALES
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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