You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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