The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
