cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
