Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
