Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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