Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Randomize
