she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
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