i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
