Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
