at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
