all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
