Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
