belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I love how my cats smell like pot.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
