I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
PANTIES FOUND
my penis made a compromise with my morals
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
