yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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