dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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