you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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