Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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