this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
