The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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