Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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