Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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