I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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