I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
