I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
