He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Randomize
