do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
