Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
