he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize