dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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