I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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