I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
