Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
