I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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