woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
that is very illegal...i love you.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
