HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
