perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
