She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
