pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
