I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
