why do cheetos always look like penises
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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