don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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