2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
