The maid of honor just puked.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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