if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
