Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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