Don't you send me to vm
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
