worst night to have a conscience
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
