Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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