is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
