he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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