Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
