Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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