exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
