The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
